BUTTER FACE

                                                               Butter Face








   Foc was the most demanding guy among every one which ever met him... For him, everything should be perfect. Brand name clothes, brand name cars, and even shoes or underwear... Now, talking about women, his taste got even more selective. Just to have an idea, Angelina Jolie and Julia Roberts were among the very ugly ones. Not really wrong right there, truth be told... Pretty much every other Hollywood actresses were just plain ugly...
   His ex-wife was one of the most beautiful women God ever created. It is true that she cheated on him with every man she could... If it was warm and had something hanging in the right place, she would do it. Francis Otto Carrera, his real name, used to say, in his defense; "at least I wasn't cheated by an ugly woman"... The funny thing is that besides all this lavish taste, the guy lived at a Motorhome, in a trailer park,  a really nice one but, still a Motorhome...
   A few years after divorcing his beautiful wife, he started to miss a woman's company... Some of his female friends even try to attempt the innuendo of a relationship but his answer, to himself or to someone mentioning the subject, was always the same regarding the woman: "butter face"!
   After a while, even his closest friends begun to refer to a female they didn't find attractive as "butter face"... At least, him or his friends were discreet, never mentioning the adjective in front of the subject
   Foc was short, a kind of chubby, he walked like a duck, had this horrible habit to laugh really loud and, worst of all, sometimes he even picked his nose and try to hide the "found" under a table or chair, in front of everybody... Not really a Greek Adonis, as per Se... But, it didn't matter... For him, beauty is beauty, of course he could to be referring to himself, when this thoughts used to come to his mind.
   Because of that, fifteen years had passed after the infamous divorce, and our friend Foc was still single... Telling the truth, many times he had the urge to remind himself of his married days and, every time it happened, he would call one of his many female friends and, believe it or not, he had quite a few, to use them for the benefit of his sexual appetite. Till this date, nobody could never understand, perhaps not even him, why women liked the guy so much... It is true that he was polite, gentle, kind, considerate, to a point that some of his acquaintances would even think that he might be gay but, he was so ugly that it couldn't be true, even if he wanted to... Who would want him, besides that bunch of women whom used to stick with him all the time? An interesting thing was that nobody ever called him "butter face", nor even could, since no one knew what it meant. People knew it recalled women he didn't like but nobody knew what the word supposed to mean...
    Among all his "friends" there was one that after "visiting" his bed for a few times felt madly in love for him, and was determined to marry him, at all costs... Foc liked her a little bit but, like a friend, well... If he was in need of some sex, in that case, he would consider her quite more than just a friend, an occasional lover but, never, ever, a wife. None of his friends could never understand why.
   Muff, how the Puerto Rican girl was called, which, despite not being the most beautiful girl in the world, would make Jeniffer Lopes look like a twig, was determined to make her wish come true. In order to do that, she started to invite herself to follow her "love interest" everywhere he would go. In a way, Foc was kind of liking the idea... He had company, without any commitment.
   One month, and every one of his friends were already comfortable with the girl's company. Some were even contemplating the possibility of "housing" her, in case "our friend" decided, once and for all, that she was not the one "meant to be".
   Foc, for the first time since his divorce, begun thinking of the idea of having someone around more often, officially.  Of course, he didn't want to let this attitude to be considered as a permanent commitment but, in his case, was a big, a huge step forward.
   One Sunday, after lunch, one of this friends asked what was wrong with that beautiful woman and why he always referred to her as "butter face"... Her face didin't resemble butter or anything similar.
   Calmlly, sat in his place, he took a good look at Muff, on her way to the "ladies room", and with a smirk in his face, answered:      
-  I never said she looks like butter...  I meant, and also think that, on her, everything look good, but
   her face...






Copyright 1/2016 Eugene Colin.