LAMBE MIA PICA...

                                                          Lambe Mia Pica












   Faziam mais de dois anos que o renomadíssimo pesquisador e psicologo Japonês, Dr. Sekaga Eukuro, estava de sabático... Por todo esse tempo andava desanimado, sem forcas ou vontade para nada. Muito provavelmente devido `a ultima pesquisa que fizera com relação `a classificação do ser humano pelos seus peidos, talvez ate' ainda tonto por ter ficado tanto tempo exposto aos gazes maléficos que o conquistaram " The International Fart Experimental Society" prêmio do ano. Aquele trabalho, "Psicologia Peidorreira", neste blog publicado meses atrás... Para o bom observador, a publicação revela muito bem o grau de intoxicação a que teve ter se submetido para completamente mudar a classificação dos humanos...
   Agora, em uma nova fase de sua carreira, resolvera estudar animais, talvez na esperança de que peidos zoológicos produzam efeitos menos maléficos aos humanos.
   Enfim neste novo estudo que ja' havia iniciado tentava encontrar uma maneira que pudesse definir certo tipo de animal com uma única palavra como "carnívoro" quando referimos `a animas que comem carne.
   Mas não queria algo tão abrangente que poderia qualificar todo um grupo de animais como "carnívoro" se refere `a vários animais zoologicamente falando.
   Para isso teria que concentra seus esforços em poucos animais, "digamos três de cada vez", pensou e e' claro os escolhidos deveriam ser animais mais populares, conhecidos, identificáveis facilmente como o cão, por exemplo, que junto com o gato são os que estão mais presentes no lares do mundo inteiro. No caso do cão, por exemplo, alem de apenas um companheiro, melhor amigo do homem, como muitos classificam a espécie, eles servem ainda para vários trabalhos assistenciais ao homem.
Definitivamente um dos primeiros a ser estudado...
   O gato também havia sido escolhido. Embora não ajudasse ninguém, ser super-dependente, dormir o dia inteiro, arranhar tudo que vê `a sua frente, soltar pelo por tudo quanto e' lado, comer pra caralho, apenas para vomitar tudo minutos depois, inexplicavelmente também e' muito encontrados em vários lares através do mundo.
   Depois de pensar por semanas no terceiro objeto de suas pesquisas, concluiu que gostaria de definir o mosquito. Este porem, apesar de estar presente em noventa por cento dos lares, ao contrario dos dois primeiros, la' estavam de enxeridos mas, o fato e' que eram presentes e faziam parte do dia a dia da população e assim sendo, e por isso mesmo eram definitivamente reconhecidos por todo mundo, em qualquer lugar...
   Dr. Eukuro estava animado como nunca para o incio desta pesquisa. Tinha certeza que mais uma vez ascenderia `a fama e reconhecimento cientifico internacional. Sua ambição era grande. Queria que estes animas que estudava pudessem ser conhecidos sumariamente, sem sombra de duvidas por apenas uma palavra.
   Tudo estava pronto em seu laboratório para o inicio de seu trabalho...
   La' estava ele com um espécime de cada animal. Um cachorro, um gato e uma porrada de mosquito, ja' que este, ou melhor, estas, as fêmeas que decidira estudar, vivem em media 45 dias. Mosquito macho não serve pra nada. Não "morde" ninguém, so' come vegetais e so' vive 10 dias... Um inútil!
   O cara construiu um viveiro de vidro e tascou mosquita la' dentro... O barulho que faziam, enquanto voavam de um lado para outro, dando porrada de cabeça umas nas outras alem de se estabacarem contra o vidro do viveiro, por pensar que estavam livres e procurar uma coxa humana para morder, era ensurdecedor. O cachorro era o que mais se assustava com o barulho, morrendo de medo de ser atingido. O gato, cagava pros mosquitos, so' queria comer e dormir...
   O cientista passava horas olhando pro cachorro, depois pro gato, por vezes batendo com a ponta do dedo no vidro do viveiro, voltava a olhar pro cachorro, como se estivesse querendo dizer: "me ajuda ai, o meu... Da' uma dica de como te qualificar. Pode acreditar, e' pro teu bem!"
   O doutor lia, pensava, pesquisava dias a fio sem qualquer inspiração... Ate' que um dia pela manha, sem saber como, sem motivo aparente, ao acordar viu o cachorro lambendo o chão enquanto o gato miava e assim que se sentou na cadeira de sua mesa de trabalho sentiu uma picada na sua bunda, sem saber se aquela filha da puta daquela mosquita havia saído do viveiro ou era uma intrusa `a procura de um pouco de sangue cientifico.
   Imediatamente, dando um pulo da cadeira, sem saber se foi pela dor ou pela luz da ideia que se acendeu em sua mente, pegou o telefone e ligou para o diretor da universidade que financiava o projeto...
-  Dr. Sosakana, aqui e' Sekaga Eukuro... Encontrei a resposta para meu estudo...
   Estou muito feliz! Me diga o que você acha? Consegui! De acordo com uma característica
   principal de seus hábitos diários mais proeminentes, vou classificar o cachorro, o gato e o mosquito,
   respectivamente, com as seguintes palavras: Lambe Mia Pica...





Copyright 2/2017 Eugene Colin

MIRACLE

                                                                  Miracle








   Another day I read something that made me think... "We live in a blue planet which turns around a ball of fire and have a satellite which makes the tides rise and you think that miracles does not exist?"
   Well... All of these phenomenons have a scientific explanation. Therefore, no miracles right there...
   Miracle, by definition, is a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency. A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequences.
   Not that I don't believe in miracles, on the contrary...
   What happened with my friend Mike Lassiter, in my opinion, qualifies as a real one...
   Mike lived in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and had just been thrown out of his house by his wife, whom would file for divorce, according to her own words; "as soon as I get you out of my sight".
   The woman, 10 years younger than him, told bluntly, that wouldn't even think to support a "bum" with her hard earnt money, as soon as she knew that her husband had lost his job.
   Mike is the nicest guy you would ever meet. He never complaint of anything, always helped everybody, even strangers...
   That day, without many arguments, went to his room, put together a few clothes inside a suit case, said good bye to the his, started his can on, and left.
   Drove with no destination for a few hours until he found himself at Barra da Tijuca beach, where, parked in a local hotel, mentally tired, slept in his own car.
   Next morning, after having breakfast, like a real guest at the hotel, he left for a short walk. Still trying to plan his next move, seated down in a street bench where, evasively, kept looking at the cars, driving by his starry-eyed demeanor.
   A huge explosion, brought him back to reality. 
   Looking across the street, saw a young lady, very well dressed, getting out of her luxury car and looking at her blown up front tire. Immediately, he went in her direction, offering help, which she gladly accepted.
   A few minutes later, she was back in her car, gratefully driving her way.
   At night, Mike went automatically to his car, still parked at the hotel, like if all that was part of his life routine. "Maybe I'll sleep better tonight." He thought...
   Next morning, the sun, shining over his windshield, woke him up... Seen clearly now, he realized wouldn't be able to leave the hotel without that breakfast which could well be his only meal for the day.
   Still thinking of what to do with his life, moved back to the same bench which "welcomed" him for almost the entire previous day.
   Thinking for how long could live like that, barely saw someone sitting next to him. Instinctively he moved away a bit, giving more room at the bench for whoever was sitting by his side.
-  Hi! How are you? He heard.
-  Oh! Hi!... The lady from yesterday,  he said. Did you fix the tire?
-  Yes! and thank you very much...
-  You're very welcome. We're here to help each other, isn't it? He said.
-  If everybody had this attitude, the world would, surely, be a better place. Tell me! Are you 
   here since yesterday?
-  Oh! It's a long story... Said Mike.
-  I love long stories! She replied.
   Reluctantly, he told her a crash corse version of his life.
-  Ok! Where is your car? She asked, touch by his honesty.
-  Across the street, at the hotel. He replied.
-  Get your car and follow me. She said.
   Almost automatically he complied. After a few minutes driving they arrived at "her place" he thought.
   After a long conversation which lasted for many hours, when both of them opened their hearts, the lady offered him a position at her industry, even not knowing how, or where, he could be of help.
-  But, you don't even know me! Pondered Mike.
-  Are you a serial killer? Do you intent to hurt me? Are you a thief? Do you need a job and 
   a place to live?
   After seeing my friend's smile, in answering those questions, she said:
-  Everything settled! Tomorrow we discuss what can you do to help me.
   Next morning, Mike learnt everything about that hat industry which, lately, wasn't seeing it's best days...
   In the months ahead he worked really hard trying to help that lady that, by now, had became his best friend. He knew she was never married, she didn't trust men, after her upbringing by a single mother who saw her husband "trade" her for a younger "chick", as she heard him saying on the last day she saw her father... He also learnt that she needed help on her business...
   With time, Mike, whom was still living at the industry, had became the center of attentions from all sides. He was, practically, the head of the company... Instead of worrying that lady, seeing a stranger basically "taking over her industry", it was making her happier day after day. A few months before, she really didn't know what to do and now, she had something she never thought about, someone whom would help her, unconditionally, just for the sake of helping...
   That business which a few months ago was in deep trouble, now, with a new line of products that Mike suggested, was booming like never before.
   Allegra, the name of that Italian lady, was smitten by the man she rescued, for her own sake. He  was the first man she ever trusted, He never asked for anything and was, all the times, grateful, for his destiny.
   In less than six months they became so connected that she could not seeing herself without having him in her life.
   One day, already in the car, going to work I received a call from Mike...
-  Can you be here next month? He asked me.
-  Mike? Is that you? I answered...
-  I'm getting married and I want you as my best man... I heard, surprised.
-  I thought you were married. I said.
-  Oh, yes! I am! well, I was! My wife kicked me out... He replied.
-  And... I said.
-  Forget it! It's a long story... I'll tell you when you get here...
   Yes! I was there, supporting my friend but, when I saw his wife to be in a few minutes, I asked myself: "How did he pulled this off?"
   Allegra, his fiance, was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, besides being 28 years younger than him.
   Today, 15 years latter, I'm getting ready to pick them up at the airport. Their kids are coming with them, for their first visit to Disney World...
   Mike, like a inveterate optimist said to me once, talking about how he met his wife, that he only was at the right place, at the right time...
   For me, the whole story is precisely what I call a miracle...






Copyright 6/2017 Eugene Colin